This is a great piece I have read where a guy leaves his wife only to realise what he had. Its a real life situation where the guy asks the scholars what to do regarding his situation.
Salamu `alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, I have a very delicate issue that I have not been able to talk to anyone; I admit it's out of pride and arrogance that I let go of a devoted and pious wife someone who has clearly forsake this materialistic life for a better life in the akhira (hereafter), and now I am going crazy, can't live with the guilt and knowing that only punishment awaits me. Lately I was reading surat An-Noor V 23 in the Quran, as if this was directly only to me. She married me on the lowest dowry and asked to be taught the Quran, which I never took the time to do instead I found a reason to complain about her pronunciation etc…. I could count her mistakes and shortcomings but I could never count her blessings and self discipline and how much she struggled to live an Islamic life. I took the ‘cheap’ dowry for granted and mentally aligned this how I treated her. I slandered her on many occasions to friends and family and tried to make it look like I was living in hell but was being patient when in fact it was the reverse. She stayed with me when almost everyone deserted me and supported me and took care of my home while I was away, and more than anything never asked for a single thing. I lead myself to believe that there is only one solution which is to divorce her otherwise I will look like a liar for all the slandering. While she was away visiting her family, I started talking to a woman on a chat line, of course I was at my best and so was she. I told her everything I wanted her to hear and she did the same. We communicated for a long time but eventually I could see she was not up for marriage. I felt the grass was greener on the other side, and even when I see my friends with their wives, I felt I had nothing and they had it all to later find out that they were like that in front of other people but not at their homes. I felt my friends were like friends with their wives which I didn’t think I had when in fact I had the best friend in my wife, for always encouraging me to take on new challenges, built my confidence and never failed to wake me up for praying as she never failed to wake up for Qiyam Layl and read the Quran daily. She would occasionally forsake me for an optional fast but she never compromise to please me. I was blind, and because I was talking about her to my friends and family and positioning my side just because I had put in my head that I want a divorce and I was looking for all kind of excuses to validate it. I mistreated her and called her any bad names you can think of, even told her she is not pretty and made her feel worthless. I don't know how she put with it but she did and I viewed it as she has low self esteem and I abused it and made her feel it. I ended up divorcing my wife, something she didn’t although I mentioned it on numerous occasions she didn’t see it coming. All she said was you trust a stranger on the internet that you never met to divorce me and cried endlessly. The day after, she washed, ironed and perfumed all my clothing and have the place spot clean and she left, never have I seen her again nor heard from her nor even know where she might be. I was the reason she moved away from a place she was able to practice the deen (religion) openly to now perhaps a place where she is oppressed for her Islamic clothing. Now, I can hear how demanding my friends' wives are when mine never once for a single thing if I don’t voluntarily give it. My friend is trying to find me a wife but in my heart as if I lost my soul and live with the greatest heavy rock in my heart on a daily basis. I pray, I fast, I read the Quran and I was blessed with a pious wife what most men are searching vigorously nowadays to now perhaps settle for a woman who is asking for a much higher dowry that I could barely afford and in putting things in place that she would not do certain things and asking for a confirmation that I could not take a second wife if I want to etc……………. and for some reason I seem to be going along with it when I can't get my wife out of my mind and my life. If only Allah gives me a second chance I promise with all that I have that I will be a better person. I feel I want to get married for the sake of getting married or perhaps a means to forget about my wife; since the divorce there hasn’t been a day since I haven’t thought about her and would do anything to bring her back, but of course, there is pride of what I have numerously told my family and how would that affect me, but at the same time I can't live with the lies and guilt I built on her. Now, reading the Quran, I know I never treated her well and how divorce was from Satan. I cry my heart when I think how she stood by me when I had nothing and now when I am financially ok, I let her go and now I feel empty. I beg all of you who are reading this to please ask Allah to give me another chance; I made a terrible mistake and please to bring her back to me. Allah knows why He made divorce the most hatred thing and why this is Satan biggest accomplishment and I am the prime example to have gone through it. I honestly don't know what to do anymore, I have the materials in this world now but I can't find a pious sister and would give anything to get my wife back. And I know what I have now is also a test from Allah, how would I stand in front of Allah and answer for what I did it. Please make lots of du`ah for me and give me the best advice possible.... Shukran... It will truly be a miracle and I am praying a lot for it in all my salats that a miracle will happen and I will have her back in this life and next In sha’ Allah.
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