Sometimes I do wonder, is the trajectory of my life going because of the test or the test I face because of sin. I wouldn't truly know, but sometimes I can feel that Barakah is being lost because of the sins I commit.
When I began to have issues in my teenage years. I seem to forget the silent suffering I was going through. Not knowing that the issues I had were actually issues.
I sometimes forget the signs Allah sent me, in life, in dreams which did we feel like guidance and sometimes felt like its because of my connection perhaps those things happened.
I am here now. Stuck. Heavy headed. Same feeling as 2014. Nowhere to go nothing to do. Time goes fast yet it feels like it slowed down as well.
I have almost come to the point where I have given up on time that is lost. I can't do anything. Sometimes I forget the Barakah I receive and have received.
Tested, trialled, punished and probably corrected. Can't say which one for sure but the test is always there.
Forgive us all for all our of major and minor sins.
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